I apologize for going so long without a post. If you're at all familiar then you know that my writing style is prone to fits of inspiration, followed closely by being plagued with a lack of posts. This was one of those droughts. However, long or short they may be I am never gone for long. It is hard to juggle content creation with your real life. Between my last post and this one I had some issues and for awhile that needed to be the fore most thing on my mind.
My biggest issue was that I had a toxic job that drained me, physically, emotional and psychologically. A smaller issue but still an issue was that I no longer wanted to be alone. I was and am ready to be in a loving and caring relationship. You see protection comes in many forms and sometimes putting yourself first the only thing you can do. But it's not without its challenges.
Trying to solve both of those problems as a means to protect myself, I had to come up with a plan. But first, I had to figure out what I wanted. What would make me truly happy and then I had to decide what steps would help me get there. The hardest part of the plan was finding the courage within to leave my job that paid more than any other job in an area where high paying jobs were so few and far between. That meant moving to an area that had more jobs. The downside was that my apartment was super cheap & in combination with the high paying job, I was able to live comfortably and save. Was I brave enough to give that up?
Now I had two problems: (1) Finding a new place to live and (2) finding a job that allowed me to live as I had been living.
What ended up happening was that I ended up moving from the small conservative town, to a major city. This would increase both the availability of quality, high paying jobs and increase the dating pool (which helped solve the small issue).
I found a decent apartment. It isn't as inexpensive as my previous one, although much bigger so more room for myself and my dog. Previously, we were in a tiny studio. It allows me to be able to have a huge altar and place to practice my craft that was previously missing. I'll have to post photo's some time.
Additionally, I was not able to invite people over in my studio. If I wanted to have a date come back the only place available to sit was my twin sized bed. There was no room for chairs or a couch. There was also nowhere to confine the dog when she got excited and wouldn't give us any peace. It was too suggestive to have someone over to sit on my bed & have the dog in her crate.
The new apartment allows for a bed big enough for two, a couch to sit on and converse without inviting unwanted sexual advances and a way to contain the dog that isn't cruel.
I had found the job before I found the apartment. The job is an absolute dream as it affords me many opportunities. It is less than 3 miles from my new apartment, it allows me to continue my education for free and it pays enough for me to afford a bigger and more expensive apartment. Things are a little tighter money wise but all in all I cannot complain.
I am mentally and spiritually healthier than I have ever been in my life. This was ultimately the right choice for me and the only thing I had to do to protect myself was have the courage to change the things I could change.
